libraries are NOT depositories for all the crap in your house!

someone just called the library to ask about donating 8 track tapes. really? we're not trying to go backwards here people. post that stuff on e-bay.

holding my breath - literally

omg smelly person using the phone on my desk. trying not to vomit.

People Are Dumb.

Patron: Hi, I'm calling to find out if you have Jurassic Park on the shelf.
Me: Um, that's definitely an adult title, so let me transfer to your call to the reference dept.
Patron: They just transferred me down to you.
Me: That doesn't make any sense. People get eaten in that movie. It's definitely NOT a children's title.
Patron: That's what I thought, but she said you guys had it.
Me: Let me check the computer to be sure.

::checks computer, finds that it is, in fact, on the shelf in the ref dept with the call number DVD JU::

Me: It's definitely upstairs, so I'm going to transfer you back up there and tell them exactly where it is.

Me: Hey [fellow co-worker], did you just transfer a call down to me looking for Jurassic Park?
Co-Worker: Yes.
Me: People get eaten in that movie. The catalog is telling me that's definitely upstairs by you guys.
Co-Worker: And see, my computer is saying it's in Juvenile.
Me: No it's not, the call number is JU for Jurassic, not juvenile.
Co-Worker: Oh.

poor decision

I had to do 2 sessions of Mother Goose completely hungover. Total attendance - 50 ppl, and didn't boot once. It is important to note that this was not my best idea.

no, my name ain't "Yo, Ma." it's Kerry. Miss Kerry, if you're nasty.

really, teenager in the puffy coat and Bruins hat, you just called me "yo, ma" and actually expected me to log you onto a computer? have you lost your ever loving mind? for real right now? I swear if I don't get out of here soon, I'm going to start slapping the hell out of these kids. #hoodlibrarianproblems

THIS is what's wrong with America

Can some people not be such epic life failures? No, Obnoxious Teen with $43 in fines on your card who I gave a computer guest pass to as a courtesy so you can do your homework, I will not "just print these out for [you] because [you're] short on time." And no, Obnoxious Teen's Mother, I will not just waive the print charge of $.10 per page for the 8 current events articles (at 3 pages each) your kid needs. She's already a bad investment with almost $50 in billed (unreturned) items. I didn't just fall off the bookmobile yesterday, lady. Good luck getting your kid to be a productive member of society with her obvious lack of work ethic and overinflated sense of entitlement.

Oversharers Anonymous

Dear Weird Grandpa Patron,

I understand that you think it's funny that someone mistook your 2 year old grandson saying "tee tee" for train as saying "tits". What I don't understand why you thought I would want to hear you say it. In the future, please refrain from being creepy in my presence.

Thanks,
Kerry